Writing the Hard Stuff

How to Write Impactful Sensitive Scenes Without Being Explicit or Offensive

Note: This article was originally posted on Sincerely, Jessie Ann. Since I’ve made a separate publication for my fiction works, I’ve moved it here where it’s more relevant.

**Disclaimer: The following article contains sensitive topics such as r*pe and suicide. If you are sensitive to these subjects, please skip this article.

Photo by Diego San on Unsplash

Before I dive into this topic, I want to acknowledge and honor those writers who choose not to include sensitive scenes in their work—God bless you! You’re doing something truly admirable. I love it when I come across a book, movie, or TV series that is both realistic and captivating, yet completely free of sensitive content.

That said, unless a story is entirely lighthearted in nature—like Anne of Green Gables—such works are often hard to find. That’s why I want to focus on helping writers who do include sensitive content in their stories, whether you’re a Christian author or writing for secular audiences. My goal is to guide them in doing so effectively—without going overboard, compromising the scene’s integrity or the storyline, and, most importantly, keeping their work “Christian-friendly.”

Of course, many writers can pull off writing sensitive scenes without adding graphic detail, and I’m not implying otherwise. All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr is a good example. It deals with heavy and sensitive themes, such as war, trauma, and loss, but handles them with restraint and elegance, avoiding graphic or gratuitous content.

If you can do this, always do this.

However, sometimes a story may require the writer to push the boundaries a little for the sake of the scene, to convey the emotion to the reader in a particular way, and for specific story growth that can only occur effectively within that scene.

This article covers that very aspect.

While it’s important for some Christian creatives to write realistic fiction that doesn’t shy away from the brutal and dark truths of real life, that doesn’t give everyone free rein, either. There must be a balance, and sometimes, that can be challenging for writers who may not know how to do this properly.

When they’re part of the story, sensitive topics must be addressed, not glossed over, for many stories to feel realistic. Of course, some stories successfully gloss over the sensitive content in a way that graphic detail isn’t necessary. But other times, detail is necessary, and omitting it to avoid offending or triggering anyone might do your story a disservice.

The writer must find the balance between what is necessary for a scene or character’s development and what is too extreme for Christian-friendly fiction. They should know when and where to draw the line with sensitive content and when to push the boundaries a little.

Photo by Xenia Bogarova on Unsplash

For example, it’s not always necessary to omit a r*pe scene if it reveals something important about a character or within the scene that will later be used in the storyline. In my historical novel, The Waltz of Devil’s Creek, I chose to include the moment when the main character is r*ped because other elements within and surrounding the scene are essential to the storyline as a whole and to her character.

I will list those moments here, but if you haven’t read the book and plan to, please do not click on the link below.

SPOILER ALERT - Click here.

Those elements were weaved into the r*pe scene in a way that made the scene important despite being sensitive and potentially triggering.

However, I still respected the necessary balance. Despite being a r*pe scene, it was not done explicitly or in a manner that was too extreme (like in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson). I chose to use flashbacks while it was happening to soften the blow, so to speak. I never mentioned “private parts” or got overly detailed about the vicious act itself, but I described just enough that the reader can draw a picture without an excessively detailed description.

I did the opposite in my Dystopian novel, Everything Under the Sun, with the suicide of one character. I did not show the moment when a character takes her own life, but the moments immediately afterward are vital, even if they are hard to read about.

Again, those moments are listed here, but if you haven’t read the book and plan to, please do not click on the link below.

SPOILER ALERT - Click here.

The reader needs to see the emotion in the scene to fully grasp it. While the suicide itself was unnecessary to show, every moment after was vital for the reader to capture the whole barrage of emotions the main character felt and to justify, or at the very least understand, the actions she took in response to the traumatic event.

Depending on how your story unfolds, some sensitive scenes may or may not be needed in detail—as the writer, you have to learn how to figure out what you should and should not include. This can be difficult. But while writing your story and you get to that point, ask yourself this question: Will the scene itself reveal anything new or important by showing it? If yes, then ask yourself: Can I effectively convey that important information in another way without compromising the storyline? “Yes” or “No” will indicate whether the scene is needed.

In Everything Under the Sun, two sex scenes were included, but neither were too graphic. In one, many elements within the scene were essential to the story. I never write sex scenes anymore for the sole purpose of adding sex—I’ll only include it for the vital information that can only unfold within the scene. And I still make it as suggestive as possible without risking how the essential information is conveyed.

If you have not read the book and plan to, do not click on the link below.

SPOILER ALERT - Click here.

Another sex scene in EUTS was more suggestive. Although it’s clearly happening, there is very little detail about the act itself and more detail about the emotions the two people engaging in the act are feeling at the time. This scene is also necessary for the storyline because it ties in with other scenes and reveals an essential aspect of the male main character.

But regarding sex scenes in general in any Christian-friendly fiction, it’s important to remember that detailing the sex itself in graphic ways is always unnecessary and never Christian-friendly.

This is where the line between “sex” and “story” becomes blurred—and the line that some authors are unable to differentiate.

This is how I look at it:

“Sex” is a private act between a man and a woman and should be seen by no one else. It’s pretty straightforward, and the detail is unnecessary.

“Story” is what else happens behind closed doors that, sometimes, others need to be made aware of, making the scene necessary.

A good example is a man and a woman are being intimate, and while it’s happening, the woman is:

• Seeing another man’s face in place of the man she’s being intimate with

• Pulling a knife from beneath the pillow

• Crying softly so the man doesn’t notice because the act is causing her some distress

While there is sex in the scene, the story aspect is what’s important and becomes the focus—not the sex itself.

Here’s an analogy:

You’re writing a scene with your main character cooking in the kitchen while talking to a friend. You will probably say something brief about her cooking to set the scene, and you might even remind the reader that she’s cooking by later in the conversation mentioning something about the bubbling sound of boiling water, but you’re not going to go into heavy detail about the entire cooking process. Cooking is relatively straightforward, and the reader doesn’t need an overly detailed description to understand what’s happening.

Photo by Marina Pechnikova

However, if the act of cooking itself reveals something vital to the storyline:

• She cracks an egg and watches the yolk break; a simple thing, but it reminds her of something painful, making her pause mid-sentence.

• The way she chops the vegetables is tense and aggressive, her frustration simmering under the surface as she speaks.

…then that might necessitate a more detailed description. This is when “cooking” becomes “story.”

There are many reasons why “story” is necessary, but there is seldom a reason or justification to detail a sexual act too much. And in fiction that you want to be Christian-friendly, I would never include it.

I love historical books, movies, and television, but I love them even more when Christianity is incorporated into the storyline—thankfully, it often is. So, I was hopeful when I came across the historical drama “Gunpowder,” starring Kit Harington.

Here is a summary (borrowed from Google): Robert Catesby, a young Catholic nobleman, plots to assassinate King James I and blow up Parliament, seeking to defend his faith and avenge perceived injustices.

As anyone who has ever read any of my books knows, I don’t shy away from sensitive topics, but I have limits. “Gunpowder” crossed the line of my limits in the first thirty minutes of the first episode with a scene so gory that it ruined the rest of the mini-series for me.

From a writer’s perspective, the gore was absolutely unnecessary—it could’ve easily been left out or suggested rather than shown in such graphic detail, and the viewer still would’ve gotten the intended effect.

Now, how do we know where to draw the line? Like with r*pe and suicide scenes, it can be tricky, but here’s a simplified way of looking at it.

If, while writing a graphic violent scene, you say to yourself something like: “OK, I need to make this bloody,” or “This scene should make the reader uncomfortable,” that’s a good sign you’re not writing for dramatic or emotional effect but for shock value, and your readers will absolutely be turned off by it.

Another way to decide whether graphic violence should be included is to ask yourself the same questions I presented earlier: Will the graphic detail reveal anything new or important by showing it? If yes, then ask yourself: Can I effectively convey that important information in another way without compromising the storyline? “Yes” or “No” will indicate whether the scene is needed.

I believe there are two types of gore: offensive and regretful.

Offensive gore is screaming into your face: “Hey! Look how bloody I’m being!” while laughing manically at you. While regretful gore is saying politely, “I know I’m being a bit bloody, and I apologize, but it’ll be over soon.”

You can spot the difference by looking at or reading the shadows—let me explain. I’ll give you a spoiler alert here, too, but I won’t hide it because I disapprove of the film for the unnecessary graphic violence and feel a duty to warn against it. If you want to avoid the spoiler, skip to the “END OF SPOILER ALERT” section now.

The same example about the details in a sex scene can be used. Is the gore full-on graphic detail, or is most of it suggestive? In “Gunpowder,” it might not have shown the executioner hacking off all of the limbs and severing the head, but it showed enough (one limb being severed, bloody limbs being held up and tossed about, a close-up of the severed head dripping with blood, etc.) that it was enough to offend viewers. It was like writing a sex scene that might not have detailed the whole act from beginning to end, but it did show a closeup of the penetration, other naked body parts, and about ten seconds of action—all unnecessary details. A better way of doing it would have been what other films have done: show the executioner’s axe being raised, the sound effects, and, at most, the severed head is shown at a distance instead of as if being plopped down onto a plate in front of you.

END OF SPOILER ALERT

Now, in films like “The Book of Eli” and “The Road,” the gore is so brief and shadowed (appearing in the distance instead of close-up, partially hidden by darkness, etc.) that its intent is not to force the viewer to be uncomfortable, but rather to evoke remorse and an understanding of the gravity of the scene.

The best—and probably the only—example of a film that doesn’t spare an ounce of gore, and where every second of it is, in my opinion, 100% necessary, is “The Passion of the Christ.”

Remember when I said to ask yourself these questions: Will the graphic detail reveal anything new or important by showing it? And: Can I effectively convey that important information in another way without compromising the storyline?

Yes, in this instance, the detail will convey one of the most important details in human history. And no, it cannot be effectively conveyed any other way because hearing about a brutal crime on the news and watching it happen in front of you will evoke two very different experiences.

I think most Christians would agree that showing people everything Jesus Christ endured and not glossing over how brutally He suffered is so very important. Leaving out the graphic violence sugarcoats His pain and suffering; it casts a shadow on the Truth, which can lead people to believe He did not suffer and die for them in the way that He did.

Graphic detail is important when it comes to Christ’s crucifixion and unnecessary when it comes to the rest of us because our suffering, no matter how brutal, does not carry the weight of salvation. Christ’s suffering was unique—it was the ultimate sacrifice, the price paid for the sins of the world. To soften or diminish that reality would be to dilute the gravity of what He endured for us.

For anyone else, excessive gore is often exploitative, serving as entertainment rather than enlightenment. But in the case of Christ, the unflinching portrayal of His suffering serves a higher purpose; it compels us to confront the depth of His love, the weight of our sin, and the magnitude of His sacrifice.

That’s the difference.

Some graphic violence is, in my opinion, warranted and necessary to show. Another spoiler alert here, too. If you want to avoid it, skip to the “Disclaimers & Warnings” section.

Photo by Bacho Grigolia

SPOILER ALERT

In “Gunpowder,” when Robert Catesby’s aunt is being martyred, that is a powerful and difficult scene—but not too overly graphic. (Two more examples of this style are William Wallace in “Braveheart” and “Anne Boleyn” in “The Other Boleyn Girl”.) But the creators went too far when hacking the next martyr to pieces and beheading him. To me, the shift felt unnatural and jarring: one moment, I was watching a powerful scene, and the next, I was watching a Rob Zombie film.

This leads me to the last point I need to make.

I’ve noticed that not many writers or publishers do it, but if you’re writing a book that you want Christian readers to enjoy that contains sensitive content, it’s courteous to include a disclaimer at the beginning of your novel. If you’re self-publishing, I would recommend adding a small warning label to your book’s information page. Think of it as a TV show rating that pops up at the top of the screen when the episode starts.

Unfortunately, we can’t always depend on disclaimers, either. We might miss out on some fantastic, real-life storytelling because a disclaimer might scare us away. Or, we might think we can handle the graphic violence we’re forewarned about, only to be appalled by it because it wasn’t done properly.

By including disclaimers and warnings, you’re respecting the reader by giving them a choice about whether they want to be exposed to specific content. Many people, Christian or not, don’t want to be blindsided by a r*pe scene because they are battling with sexual trauma of their own. The same goes for suicide scenes, graphic violence, heavy drug use, or any other sensitive content—respect them enough to let them know beforehand and give them a choice.

May God bless you, your family, and your life.

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The text in this article is copyright © 2025 Jessica Tacu.